Edie
Jeff Burton
Phil drank only Pabst Blue Ribbon.
It was Thursday evening a little after seven and I was picking up a few things from Walmart for the Friday night poker game. It was my turn to play host so I was stocking up on beer, beef jerky, chips and dip. Most of the guys liked beef jerky and Phil drank Pabst. The other guys didn’t mind Pabst but Phil refused to drink anything else.
“Beer of Kings!” He’d exclaim as though he was the sovereign of some realm or another, with his spreading pattern baldness and modest income trading penny stocks. None of the guys in our poker circle were exactly tycoons but hey, beer of Kings. It was ok with me.
I trundled down the aisle, shopping cart loaded with three twelve packs of Pabst and stopped at the chips section. My attention was focused on the dizzying array of chips and I didn’t see her coming.
“Excuse me” she said. “Hi.”
My eyes rose from the shelves of chips taking in her perfect legs, fantastic body, laughing green eyes and radiant, mischievous smile. Flaming red hair tumbled over her shoulders in soft waves.
She was gorgeous.
“I’m Edie, Edie Matherson.” She said, extending her hand. “I’m new in town, was wondering if you could tell me where to find a good vet.”
I took her hand. Her grip was firm, her skin soft, her fingers expensively manicured with dark red nails. Her perfume was faint and alluring.
“Jake Harding, glad to meet you Edie.” I gave her a friendly, welcome to our little town kind of smile. “Do you mean veteran or veterinarian?”
“Veterinarian.” She laughed. “My cat Vinnie’s not his usual predator self, his eyes are glassy and he’s not eating.” She said, then gave me that mischievous grin I’d come to remember so well. “Although a hot veteran sounds good too.”
I felt an electric thrill shoot through my body. I couldn’t believe she’d just said that.
She was one smokin’ hot babe. That’s what the guys in the poker group would call her, a smokin’ hot babe.
“I take my dog to Dr. Eliot on King street, do you know where that is?”
“I’m just starting to find my way around town.” She said. “I took a job with the Oshkosh Tribune. They gave me the Human Interest column, I’m more of a hard news kinda girl.” She smiled again, absently pushing a curl behind her ear, a gesture I would come to remember well too. “But that will change soon enough.”
“Is that a New York accent?” I asked.
“Got it in one. Give the man a prize.” She said.
“The Big Apple huh? Rather be on the front lines?” I said. “Down in the trenches?”
“That’s it.” She grinned. “Does anything ever happen here?”
“Well, you know, pretty mundane stuff, occasional drug related shootings, lovers’ spats, wannabe gangs, cats stuck in trees.”
She laughed. “No serial killers? Messy suicides?”
“Not lately, not that I’ve heard of anyway.”
“Can’t win ‘em all.” She said.
“That’s one way of looking at it.” I smiled. “Dr. Eliot’s office isn’t far from here but I think he’s closed by now.”
“I’ll find it tomorrow.” She said. “Nice meeting you Jake Harding.” Then added. “Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” She gave me a flirtatious smile and wheeled her cart past me and the chips section.
I saw a couple of steaks and a few veggies in her cart, a couple of frozen dinners and a bottle of Stolichnaya. No mixers.
Stoli. I wonder if she drinks it straight.
I turned to watch her walk away. My eyes were immediately drawn to her stunning ass, it was like watching two tiger cubs wrestle under a bed sheet.
Wow.
As I was packing the stuff into the trunk of my car I wondered, what’s a gorgeous, sophisticated, big city woman like Edie doing in a podunk town like Oshkosh?
That evening my mind just wasn’t on the poker game. I lost more than I won, my thoughts kept wandering to Edie.
A hot veteran sounds good too.
I wondered if she could sense that I had been in the army somehow. Maybe journalists could pick up on that kind of thing.
A couple of weeks passed and she kept crossing my mind. Her mischievous smile had gotten under my skin. Her sexy smile, that ass, the hint of her perfume and that she was sophisticated, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous and worldly in a way people in Oshkosh Wisconsin just weren’t.
A month went by. I occupied my time with work (I was a paralegal studying nights for the bar exam), weekly poker games, occasional Sunday morning squash games with my old college buddy Leon, and taking my Australian shepherd Nikki for Frisbee sessions at the Fox River park .
She visited my thoughts less frequently now, maybe just once or twice a day. Sometimes I would imagine catching a whiff of her perfume.
One evening months later there was at a party at the office. Around ten thirty a few of us moved to O’Conner’s, an Irish pub down the road.
Jim and Harry were junior partners with the firm, Lisa the cute receptionist had tagged along for a pint or two. We drank ale and played darts.
The bar curved around so the end couldn’t be seen from our table. The rest rooms were at that end.
“Be right back, going to shake hands with the unemployed.” Jim and Lisa laughed at the old chestnut, Harry was concentrating on his throw.
As I was rounding the bar I caught a whiff of a familiar scent. It clicked somewhere in the basement of my mind.
Edie. The memory surfaced while I was zipping my trousers. Edie’s perfume.
There she was sitting at a table with a small group of people, two laughing women and a guy with a cleft chin wearing a rugby shirt. She was smoking a cigarette and sitting close to the guy. I felt a stab of irrational jealousy.
I should go over there and say hi.
But I didn’t. Maybe I felt intimidated by her big city brashness. I just walked on past, my heart beating fast.
Don’t be such a pussy. You’re not a teenager for Christ’s sake.
I kicked myself all the way to our table feeling like a pathetic wimp.
Jim watched Harry miss a double 18. “Damn.” Harry said. “Almost.”
“Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades buddy.” Jim said, stepping into position for his throw.
“How you doing Jake?” Lisa said. “You’ve been quiet lately. Not that you’re ever much of a chatterbox.”
“Can’t complain.” I smiled. “Are you still seeing that guy? What’s his name?”
“Jason. Nah, not for awhile now, he turned out to be a real jerkoff.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Shit happens.” She said. “Life goes on. How ‘bout you, still seeing Cathy?”
“Nope.” I replied. I didn’t elaborate.
On the way out the door I spotted Edie sitting at the bar with another woman. God had given me another chance.
“Hey, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I said.
“Bright and early.” Jim said.
“Going back In?” Lisa glanced at Edie sitting at the bar. ”She’s pretty gorgeous. It’s good to shoot high Jake, you never know.”
“Fuck off Lisa.” I said.
“Yeah right. Happy hunting Bwana.” She squinted one eye, pointed her index finger at me and mimicked the recoil of a pistol, puffing out her cheeks and pursing her lips to make an exploding sound. “See ya.” She and turned to follow Jim and Harry.
Lisa was right, Edie was way out of my league but I’d spend the rest of my life kicking myself if I didn’t go back in there.
I approached the ladies at the bar, taking deep breaths to steady my heartbeat.
“Edie isn’t it?” I did my best to sound casual. She turned around.
“Yeah, Jack right?”
“Jake.”
“Yeah, Jake, of course.” She gave me that sexy smile. My heart did back flips. “Gayle this is Jake, we met at the Walmart when I first arrived in this fair city.”
“Hey Gayle.”
“Hi Jake.”
“Gayle writes Homes and Gardens.” Edie explained.
“Yeah. Homes and Garbage.” Gayle said, her voiced laden with bitterness.
“I take it you don’t find that interesting.” I said.
“Pays the bills.” Gayle said, lifting her Long Island ice tea.
Gayle finished her drink and left.
“So how’s your cat?”
“Vinnie’s back to his wicked, wicked ways. I took him to your vet, fixed him right up.” She said. “How’s Jake Harding?”
I was surprised she remembered my last name. I must have made an impression.
“Great.” I smiled. “How’s Edie Matherson?”
“Good. You were right, plenty of cats get stuck in trees in this town.”
I laughed. “So what’s the deal with the guy you were sitting with?” I asked. “You looked pretty close there. Are you two a ‘thing’?”
“A thing.” She chuckled. “Rod writes the sports column. He’s a decent guy but not the sharpest pencil in the box. Not my type believe me.”
I laughed. We talked and drank until the bar closed. I learned she’d been promoted to front page news. I wasn’t surprised.
“Look, what are you doing next Saturday?” I was holding the door to her cab.
“Washing my undies.” She grinned. “After that nothing.”
That Saturday she came with me and Nikki to Fox River. After that we had Italian food. She loved Italian food.
The next weekend we had Thai food, then stopped for a drink at a fern bar I had never been to. Saxophone muzac drifted from hidden speakers, the kind you hear in upscale elevators.
“You know,” She said after the second martini. “I actually detest fern bars, and I fucking hate this muzak. Do you have any Scotch at your place?”
I laughed out loud. “Halleluiah to that! Let’s get out of here.”
That night we slept together at my place. The sex was fantastic.
She was passionate, wild even. She was like no woman I had ever met, sophisticated yet primitive: A seductive dichotomy.
In the morning she lay asleep on her stomach, her right knee and elbow drawn up. The covers were pushed down to her waist and the light pouring in the window gave her a soft glow. I watched her sleep, admiring the curve of her neck and shoulder flowing down to her back, the gentle swell of her beautiful ass disappearing under the covers. Her long, perfect legs. She had the peaches and cream complexion redheads often do.
Damn she’s gorgeous, she kind of looks like Nicole Kidman in her prime. What the hell is she doing with a guy like me?
Then I noticed traces of scars that looked like lash marks.
What kind of past does she have? I reached out and gently ran the tip of my middle finger along one. She rolled over and squinted up at me.
“I don’t wear bikinis.” She said, her voice thick with sleep. “Can you make some coffee baby?”
She’ll tell me in her own time I reasoned.
I was falling in love with her. I kept expecting myself to wake up and find out it was all a dream.
When I look back on it I realize that even then Edie was a cipher.
“My father was an alcoholic.” I told her. “They got divorced when I was a kid. My mother remarried and lives in Chicago now, her new husband treats her much better. I have a brother who lives on Hawaii and a sister in California.”
“Let’s have Italian tonight.” She said. I bit back my disappointment
A few months passed and we were spending most nights together, either at my place or hers, more often hers. We kept clothes and toothbrushes at each others’ houses.
She was kind of anal retentive about where I kept my clothes at her place (shirts and trousers hung on the left side of her closet, socks and underwear neatly folded in a separate drawer). I had to keep my toothbrush in the same slot in her toothbrush holder or she would bitch about it. No toothpaste remnants were allowed in the sink.
“Ya voll!” I once said, probing her armor for a chink of humor.
“Don’t be an asshole Jake.” She said, not a trace of humor in her voice. From that moment I was walking on eggshells when at her place. I tried to steer her to mine as often as possible. Even there she was controlling, but not nearly as much.
One evening I came home, to her house, and she was sitting on her stylish leather sofa reading 50 Shades of Grey.
“I hear that’s sweeping the nation, how do you like it?” I asked.
She looked up. “It’s kind of trashy but hotter than hell. This couple is too much. He’s a filthy rich sadist, she’s young and innocent and submits willingly to his kinky fetishes. She gave me that mischievous grin. “It’s got me all wet. Here, feel.”
She pushed my hand down into her crotch.
“You devilish wench.” I said.
“I’ll show you devil.” She grinned. “Come here big boy.”
Little did I know how prophetic that statement would turn out to be.
We made love on the sofa, then I carried her into the bedroom.
She pulled me down and straddled me. Then she leaned over, tugged open the drawer in her end table and tugged out a pair of handcuffs.
“Let’s try something a little different tonight baby.” She said, a lascivious grin on her face.
I eyed the cuffs, feeling a little uneasy and a little turned on. “Good cop bad cop? I’m not sure about this.” I wondered how many guys she’d played this game with.
“Come on baby, let’s take a little stroll on the wildside.” She leaned down to kiss me. “I’m not dragging you into my dungeon …, yet.” She nibbled my earlobe. My resistance melted.
“Yeah, ok, but promise to be gentle with me.”
“Jake Harding,” She grinned. “I promise to give you the ride of your life.” She was good to her word. She was absolutely wild, rode me to the moon and back.
A week or so later Edie and I were sitting in on a park bench watching Nikki chasing pigeons.
“We’ve been staying together nearly every night for several months now.” I observed.
“Yeah.” She said, tapping her ash with a forefinger. (She smoked Marlboro lights). “Maybe we should cut that out.”
“Come again?”
She took a drag from her cigarette. “What I’m trying to say.” She said, exhaling. “Is that maybe we should just move in together, you know, stop wasting money paying two rents.”
We got a bigger house together. We were happy enough, I was happy. She seemed absent sometimes, restless, moody even, especially when she had a few drinks. She liked Scotch or vodka, neat or on the rocks.
She just needs space, don’t we all? After all she’s an artist of sorts, they’re temperamental.
Edie began to take over my life. I fell out of touch with my old friends. Friday night poker games fell by the wayside.
One lazy Sunday afternoon I was sitting on the sofa, watching the game and eating a sandwich when the doorbell buzzed. Edie set aside her Scotch and got up to answer it. A little old lady with tight grey blue curls on her head was standing there beaming and holding up a big tray of cookies.
“Welcome to the neighborhood Mrs. …,”
“It’s Miss., just call me Edie. Thank you very much. You really shouldn’t have Mrs. …,”
“Margaret Zimmerman, just call me Marge.” She gushed. “This is such a lovely home! I would just love to see it, may I come in?”
Edie looked over at me. I shook my head no.
“My boyfriend is taking a nap in the living room Marge, let’s make it another time ok?” Edie accepted the tray. “These cookies smell delicious.”
“Fresh out of the oven.” Marge said with a tight smile, clearly disappointed.
“Where’s your house? I’ll bring the tray back tomorrow evening.” Edie said.
“We’re just across the street from you dear.” Marge pointed to a two story clapboard house across the street and two doors down on the left. “Harold told me not to bother you, says I’m a nosy busybody the old scrooge. Bah humbug!” Marge beamed at Edie again. “Come by soon dear, I’m always home. By the way your accent sounds out of State. Where are you from?”
“New York.”Said Edie.
“How interesting! You’ll have to tell me what brought you to our little town sometime dear. I hope you enjoy the cookies.” Marge turned and walked down the driveway.
Edie close the door. “How sweet. Chocolate chip” She took two, set the tray on the table and plopped down next to me. “Harold has her nailed, the classic neighborhood busybody. She must make his life a real joy.”
“Come on baby, she’s just being neighborly.” I said. “Either she’s a closet punker or her stylist is colorblind.”
Edie laughed. “You bad boy.” She said. “I’m gonna have to punish you.”
Once after another office party I came back to her place and she’d been drinking. Alone. I had a few in me too.
“Are you fucking that little bitch Jake? What’s her name, Sheila?”
“Of course not baby, you’ve got to be joking.” I said. “I’m crazy about you, you know that. Lisa’s just an acquaintance from work.”
“Acquaintance my ass!” She hauled off and slapped me. Hard. It shocked me.
“That was uncalled for.” I said.
It was then I admitted to myself that she became another person when she drank, a sure sign of alcoholism. I knew all about that. My father was a raging alcoholic. He used to slap the shit out of my mother right in front of me and my sister.
Occasionally Edie would disappear at nights, sometimes staying out till well after midnight. Once I called her cell and she didn’t pick up. When I asked she said she was out drinking with a friend, hadn’t heard her phone.
A month later I took her to meet my mother in Chicago. She had moved there when she remarried.
My mother would confide to me years later she had seen right away that Edie was trouble.
After a year I proposed and she accepted. “Why not get married?” I said. “Think how much we could save on taxes.”
“Very romantic Jake.”
I got down on my knees right there in our kitchen, pulled out the engagement ring I had bought the month before.
“Edie Matherson, will you marry me?”
“Now that’s more like it.” Her gorgeous smile lit up her face, the sunlight pouring through the window made her appear positively angelic. In that moment I loved her so much it hurt. “Yes, I will marry you Jake Harding.”
We kissed, soft kisses at first, then long and hard. I hoisted her onto the counter and we made love there next to the fruit bowl, then up against the refrigerator, winding up on the kitchen floor. By the time we finished the sun was setting.
TWO
Six months later she was pregnant and fifteen months into our marriage she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who inherited her mother’s red hair. We named her Cassandra.
We were happy, nearly deliriously happy. Everything was perfect. Perfect that was except for her moods. She could be sweet as pie one moment, nasty as hell the next. She would turn into a screaming monster. It was exactly like flipping a switch, the trouble was I had no idea where the switch was. The smallest thing could set her off.
A couple of years when by. I finally passed the bar exam and became a real lawyer.
Cassie was gorgeous, red curls with peaches and cream complexion like her mother. She loved it when I tossed her up into the air, she would laugh and laugh.
Edie’s drinking and mood swings continued. She had become harder somehow and taken to questioning my fidelity on a regular basis.
“How could you think that Edie, you know I’m more crazy about you than ever.” I would say. She would sulk for hours, days even.
One evening I came home a little late, I had had a couple of beers with the guys at work. She was drunk, very drunk, and angry. She was spoiling for a fight. Cassie was sitting in her highchair in the kitchen. Edie had a Marlboro in her hand, I could tell that she had been chain smoking.
“Who was it this time Jake? Who are you fucking now? I can smell pussy on you, you fucking jerk!”
I was silent. She never listened to me when she got like this.
“You got nothing to say huh?” She picked up a plate and threw it at me. I dodged to the side and it smashed against the wall behind me, showering jagged shards of porcelain all over the kitchen. Cassie started crying. I went to take her from her highchair and Edie hit me on the side of my head with a closed fist. I backed away and she took off her high heeled shoe and flung it at me. I ducked and it shattered a pink rooster cookie jar behind me, the only thing my mother had ever given to me. Cassie started bawling in earnest.
Then Edie came at me, arms flailing. She hammered my chest, then hit me in the face and my nose started bleeding. I tried to grab her arms, managed to spin her around and pin her arms in a bear hug. She sank her teeth into my arm, stomped on my instep and elbowed me in the solar plexus. I released her and she spun around, kneeing me in the crotch. I buckled over in pain.
She’d learned basic self defense, but in this case it wasn’t defense. New Yorker.
She jumped back and yanked a drawer open, tore out a large knife. “You cheating cocksucker!” She screamed, flying at me again, arm raised at head level. I was trapped in the corner. Her face was twisted with rage and she had a murderous look in her eyes.
The part of my brain not engaged in fight or flight wondered how I could be a cocksucker while fucking another woman.
“Edie!” I shouted. “Stop! Get a hold of yourself! Think of Cassie!”
She slashed at my face, I felt the knife slice through my cheek. That’s when the blood really started to flow. I ducked, covering my head with my arms. She slashed again plunging the knife into the back of my forearm.
“You crazy fucking bitch!” I yelled.
I scrambled for my cell phone and punched 911.
Edie slipped in my pooling blood and fell on her ass. I plucked Cassie shrieking from her highchair and fled out the door into the front yard. Moments later a police car, sirens blaring and lights flashing screeched to a stop. A uniformed policeman stepped out of his car and spoke into his walkie talkie. Then he walked forward.
“Stay right where you are Sir, hands on your head.” Then the officer saw I was holding a toddler. His female partner relieved me of Cassie and I lifted my arms in the air. The policeman patted me down, told me to turn around and completed the process. Then he shone his flashlight in my face. He saw the blood streaming down my face and arm, dripping from my elbow. Another cruiser pulled up at an angle to the curb, lights flashing blue and red.
He pulled out his walkie talkie. “I need an ambulance at 502 Sycamore Lane, that’s 502 Sycamore.” Then he looked at me. “Where’s the perpetrator Sir?”
“Inside.” I said. “My wife.”
Edie was taken away in handcuffs, still screaming abuse. Her hair was a tangled mess. An ambulance arrived and the EMT’s bundled me off to the Oshkosh Memorial hospital emergency room.
A few hours later I was taken to the police station and asked to give my statement. I asked for Cassie. The officer shook his head. “Your daughter is with Child Services. You’d be amazed how many battered husband cases come in here. Not many carved up like you though.”
Forty eight hours later Edie was released on the conditions that she would see a court appointed shrink twice a week and she would not come to the house pending trial.
THREE
I took a couple of days sick leave. When I went back to the office I spoke with Jim Davis the senior partner who’d hired me, explained what had happened and that I needed to get a restraining order. When he heard the story he offered to do it himself.
“If I were you Jake I’d think long and hard about your future…, without her. Sorry to say this but your wife is one crazy lady.”
“I know that Jim, believe me you’re preaching to the choir.”
Jim raised an eyebrow.
“Seriously Jake, people don’t change except in the movies. I’ve seen literally hundreds of these cases. Abused spouse thinks to herself… himself, that their spouse will change, it’s all going to be different now. Then the same shit happens all over again.
Guaranteed we’ll get a temporary restraining order pending trial. But…, If she really is out to get you or your daughter that restraining order will afford you about as much protection as a broken condom.”
I nodded. “I’ve been fooling myself for a long time now. You know how it is, hope springs eternal.”
“Yeah. You’d better start thinking about divorce proceedings Jake. If this follows the classic borderline pattern she’ll make your suffering her personal mission in life.”
“You seriously think she’s a borderline personality?”
I had seen Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. The boiled bunny in the stew kettle scene. Seriously freaky shit.
“Look at yourself Jake, you’re carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey. You have a beautiful little girl. She was right there. Do you really want to subject her to the risk?”
Edie a borderline? I knew something about borderline personality disorder from a psychology class in college. They were usually self destructive, but if they first idealized and then devalued someone they could become that person’s worst nightmare.
Jim was being dramatic, overly cautious. He might be right in some circumstances but no way was Edie a borderline personality.
Or was she?
FOUR
Edie just disappeared. I went down to Child Services, filled out a ream of forms, then was directed into an interview room. The woman across the table flipped through the police report. When she finished she looked up.
“Where is your wife Mr. Harding?”
“It’s Jake. I haven’t seen Edie since it happened.” The woman sighed.
“Look Mr. Harding, these cases take time. We have to interview the other party, try to determine if the child is in any danger. If both of you insist on getting custody of the child she will have to remain with us pending trial. If there is a trial that is. Most often in these situations the couple will make up after a few days. In that case a social worker will pay a visit to your house and if the home environment is regarded as being safe the child will be released into your custody.”
“There’s no way Cassie can come home with me today? She needs to be with family.”
“I don’t have the authority to make that decision Mr. Harding, once a child enters the system procedures have to be followed.” She scanned the report again. “However in this case the degree of violence was considerable and your reports concur on the salient points. Your wife’s blood contained a high alcohol content. It appears you were on the receiving end of the violence, according to this report she sustained no injuries during the altercation.” She looked up at me. “You showed remarkable restraint Mr. Harding, that will certainly be in your favor if there are custody issues. Still there will have to be a hearing. I imagine we can get you in within a few days. By that time I’m sure your wife will show up.”
“Edie tried to kill me in front of our daughter Miss…,”
“Judith Anderson. I understand it was a traumatic situation for you Sir. I’ll try to expedite your case. In the meantime your child will be in good hands.”
“So there’s no possibility I can take Cassie with me now?” I pleaded. “I really think it’s best that she be with her family Miss Anderson.”
“Like I said I’m not in a position to make that decision Mr. Harding. As I mentioned I’ll try to expedite your case, it could be as soon as next week. By that time I’m sure your wife will show up.”
That was what I was afraid of.
A week went by and Edie didn’t show up. She didn’t have any friends that I knew of, just Gayle who wrote about homes and gardens.
I called the Oshkosh Tribune and spoke with Gayle. I just told her Edie hadn’t been home in a few days.
“Haven’t heard from her Jake, haven’t seen her in months.”
The hearing came. As Edie had disappeared Cassie was temporarily released into my custody pending trial. The five member panel stressed the word temporarily.
At least I had my daughter.
I found a good nursery school for Cassie and returned to work. Every day I picked up Cassie and we went home. I cooked or bought take out, we played together and then I put her to bed. I had become a single father.
A few weeks went by, then one evening I picked up Cassie and drove home, parked in the driveway, lifted Cassie out of her car seat and walked up to our door. I inserted the key but the door wasn’t locked. With a sinking feeling I pushed the door open and entered the living room.
There on the sofa sat Edie. She looked fantastic, wearing a summer dress that wouldn’t have been out of place at church.
“Hello Jake, how’ve you been?” Her voice was light and breezy, like she hadn’t carved me up with a knife.
“You can’t be here Edie.” I kept Cassie in my arms. She squirmed and reached out to Edie.
“This is my home Jake, why shouldn’t I be here?”
I felt anger flood through me. And fear. She was completely nuts.
“I’m getting a divorce Edie.”
She looked hurt. “Why would you say that Jake? You know I love you and Cassie more than anything. I’d do anything for you.”
“You tried to kill me Edie. Not a very loving thing to do.” I said.
“I was just angry honey, I can’t bear the thought of you with another woman.”
“You attacked me with a knife Edie, cut me up pretty bad. It’s over, I’m getting a divorce.”
“Whatever happened to ‘until death do us part’ Jake?” She said smiling, smooth as silk.
“That’s the point Edie, you tried to kill me.”
“I won’t deny our marriage has problems Jake, whose doesn’t? We can get counseling baby, work things through. Come on Jake honey, don’t be like this.” I saw then she had poured herself a Scotch, a double as always.
She started to rise from the couch. Cassie was squirming, reaching out with her arms crying for her mother.
“Come to Momma honey.” Edie moved forward, reaching out her arms. Cassie squirmed harder and cried louder.
I backed away, started backing out the door.
“Just leave Edie, you can’t be here. I’m calling the police.”
Her face twisted in a sneer. “Big soldier boy is going to call the police on his wife? What are you afraid of Jake?”
“Why did you leave New York Edie?”
“Because it’s full of sickfucks.” She said. “Stupid sickfucks.”
“How did you get those scars on your back?”
Her face hardened. “A present from my father. He was a real gem.”
I felt a wave of pity. I wanted to go take her in my arms, tell her everything was going to be ok.
I was afraid to set Cassie down to get at my cell phone. “Either you leave right now Edie or I’m calling the police.” I said. “You’re dangerous. You need to get help.”
“You’re right Jake, I have a drinking problem. I know that now. I’ll stop drinking, start going to AA meetings again. We can work this out baby.”
Again.
I knew that for an alcoholic to join AA pretty much always required some major disaster to happen in their lives. That was probably why she’d left New York.
Cassie was kicking and squirming like hell, crying and holding her arms out to Edie.
I want her to leave. But she looks so fucking sexy.
I pictured Edie in her silk negligee, the scent of her body, her moist pubic hair. I felt a growing erection.
My inner animal wanted to set Cassie down, bend Edie over the couch and fuck her brains out. The reasoning part of my brain was the robot in that old black and white TV series Lost in Space.
Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
“Go now or I’m calling the cops. I mean it Edie.”
“Ok Mr. Grumpy, have it your way.” She rose from the sofa and sashayed up to me, swinging her hips. As she passed me she reached out and touched my lips with her forefinger, kissed me softly, then kissed Cassie on the forehead making her squirm and cry even harder.
“You’ll come to your senses Jake, you know how good we are together.” Then she was out the door. My eyes followed her to the sidewalk where she turned, looked back at me and winked.
I breathed a sigh of relief, closed and locked the door, felt my heart rate start to slow. Cassie was bawling her head off but Edie was gone.
Thank God.
My baser instincts tried to convince me that somehow we could work things through, but I knew in my heart that if I let her back in my life eventually she would kill me.
The next day I filed for a No-Fault divorce. Jim assured me it was the only way I could do it without her consent. If I was to go with irreconcilable differences she could contest it, it would get complicated and expensive. Fortunately the mortgage was in my name.
The next month I was granted a divorce. The following week I received a restraining order, she couldn’t come within five hundred meters of the house.
“Remember what I said Jake, that document can protect you and your daughter about as much as a torn condom.” Jim said again.
FIVE
Indian summer passed into Autumn and on into winter. Cassie was finally adjusting to our new situation. I was getting comfortable with being a single father. We were growing to be happy with our new life. Our new, emotionally stable life.
One Saturday morning I picked up the phone. It was Edie.
“How have you been Jake? How’s Cassie?” She said.
“Everyone is just fine Edie, just fine.”
“I miss you Jake, miss our daughter. I’ve stopped drinking, been seeing a therapist, go to AA meetings three times a week. I like the people there.”
“That’s great Edie, glad to hear it.”
“Jake, I know what I did was wrong, completely crazy. I don’t blame you for divorcing me. I apologize for everything. I’m so sorry honey.”
I was silent.
“Listen baby, I really want to come home. I’m much better now. I see now how unstable I was when I drank. Being in therapy has really opened my eyes. I’m a different person now Jake. I really want to work it out with you.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Edie. I’m glad you’re feeling better now but I’ve moved on with my life.”
There was a moment of silence. “Are you seeing someone new Jake? Is that it?”
No, it’s that you’re a fucking psycho bitch!
“I’ve been too busy learning to be a single father Edie, I prefer it this way.” I said.
“But you plan to right? To find another woman? Don’t you love me anymore Jake?”
“I’m not going to have this conversation with you Edie. We’re done. Divorced. Look I really have to go …,”
“Hang on a minute Jake!” She was pleading now. “Just give me a chance. At least let me see Cassie. I’m her mother, I deserve that. She deserves that.”
I felt kind of sorry for her, a single mother deprived of her only child’s company. She had always been a fantastic manipulator.
Fuck that. The psycho bitch tried to kill me.
“Talk to my lawyer.” I hung up.
Another few months passed. The snow melted and spring came. I didn’t hear from Edie at all.
A mother of one of the kids at Cassie’s nursery school had gotten a divorce maybe a year before the incident with Edie, the final incident. Her name was Ellen.
She was beautiful, and calm, sweet in a gentle way, intelligent and funny. Tall and slim like Edie but less voluptuous. They had completely different personalities, polar opposites. Edie was an all consuming fire and Ellen was a refreshing breeze. Meeting her at the nursery school felt pleasant, warm.
The thing with Edie had traumatized me. The thing. That’s how I had filed that whole hellish set of experiences in my memory, the thing. No way was I going to rush into anything new.
One afternoon Jim drew me aside, quietly invited me into his office.
“Have you heard about Edie?” He asked.
“Nope.” I said. “That chapter of my life is past me now Jim, I don’t even want to know about her.”
“I think you’ll be interested in this Jake. A couple of months ago she was arrested in a bar in Wellington.”
“Ok. That’s more than a hundred miles from here. What for?”
“Get this. She was drunk, started shooting her mouth off about this idiot she cut up, an idiot who happened to be her ex husband.”
“Last I heard speaking your mind was still legal in this country.” I said.
“But then this guy started arguing with her, called her a stupid bitch according to the way I heard it. Then she pulled a knife out of her purse and cut this guy, gutted him like a fish. He was three days in surgery. The doctors said it was a miracle he survived”
I felt sick.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” I said.
“Swear to God.” He raised his right hand. “The court found her unfit to stand trial. Insane in other words. She was committed, locked away in a looney bin for an indefinite period of time. Until the doctors consider her to no longer be a threat to society.”
A wave of relief washed over me. I hadn’t even realized how worried I was she would come back.
I smiled. “That’s great news Jim, thanks for letting me know. By the way I have a splitting headache, I think I’ll take the afternoon off.”
“No problem buddy, you look pale. Go home and rest.”
It was about 1:30 pm. It was Ellen’s son Kenny’s fourth birthday, she was holding a party for him at her house. Clowns, games, the works. Ellen had asked me if Cassie could come, assured me that she and her sister could manage the kids.
I headed over to the nursery school to pick up Cassie and drop her there.
Ellen greeted me at the door to her upscale house, she had done alright with the divorce. I could hear kids laughing from inside.
“Hi Cassie!” She said, taking her hand. “Don’t worry Jake, she’ll have a blast. I’ll put the kids down for a nap when the sugar rush wears off. You can come pick her up around five if you like.”
Cassie turned and looked at me from the door, her little hand at her mouth.
“Bye honey, Daddy will be back soon. You have a wonderful time.” Ellen winked at me and led Cassie inside. The white mullioned door swung closed.
I drove home feeling exhausted. I put the key in the door and stepped in.
A mental hospital. An image came to my mind of Edie dressed in a gown that opened in the back like Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. It made me feel uneasy for some reason.
Come on Jake, you should feel happy. She’s locked up tight, no chance she’s going to be coming back into your life any time soon.
Yeah I should be happy but something was giving me the creeps. Like the thoughts that swirled around in the basement of your mind.
The time I smelled Edie’s perfume and didn’t recognize it until I was zipping my fly.
Somehow I was sure she was wearing that perfume now. Only Edie could figure out a way to smell great in the crazy house.
I sat down on the sofa and tried to banish the thoughts from my mind.
We’re safe now, she’s locked away in a mental hospital. Her perfume…
I laid down on the sofa and dozed off.
I dreamed of Edie going down on me, her beautiful mouth and soft red curls, her perfume.
My eyes snapped open. Had I heard a noise?
I listened hard but didn’t hear anything, kept listening to the silence.
The news just triggered some bad memories.
The dream had left me very turned on. I felt like a demented idiot, repelled by my own adolescent urges.
I closed my eyes, unzipped my fly and absently began to masturbate, then stopped after a minute.
That’s just sick Jake.
I switched on the TV, flipped through the channels until I came to the local news. A female announcer was seated at a news desk talking from the screen.
“This just in, we have a newsflash from Upton-St. Clair, a hospital for patients with mental disorders. We now have John Clayton on the scene, over to you John.”
A man holding a large microphone and wearing an Adirondack jacket appeared in front of an institutional looking building with regimental shrubs in front.
“Thank you Jill. Three mental patients escaped from this facility this morning. The hospital has declined to reveal the names of the escaped patients at this time. However we do know that two of the patients have been apprehended. Still at large is an unidentified female. An inside source reports that the fugitive could be armed and dangerous. Anyone with information regarding the whereabouts of this patient is requested to call this hotline.” An 800 number appeared on the screen.
“Pretty frightening stuff! Thank you John.” The woman looked to the right. “And now for the weather …,”
I knew immediately it was Edie. She’d escaped somehow, was now on the loose.
Coming to this house.
My heart raced in panic and sank right through the carpet. I was rooted to the sofa in shock. That’s when I heard the sound again. Very soft, like someone creeping on tiptoes. I glanced toward the kitchen. Nothing.
You’re in shock Jake, calm down.
I stood up. Unsteady on my feet I stumbled into the kitchen, found the bottle of Ibuprofen, took three and went back to the sofa.
I imagined I caught a faint whiff of her perfume.
Just dream remnants.
I looked back towards the kitchen. Silence.
Then I felt a pressure settle on the sofa. Her perfume.
I turned my head and there she was, Edie, in the flesh, barefoot wearing her silk negligee, her gorgeous body exposed. She smiled.
“Hello Jake, have you missed me baby?” Her perfume mingled with the scent of her arousal.
I was frozen in shock, my brain refusing to process what my eyes were seeing. She was wearing heavy eye shadow and bright glossy lipstick. The Edie I knew never wore heavy makeup.
I was filled with overwhelming terror mixed with overpowering lust.
She leaned over casually, saw my erection soaring from my forgotten unzipped fly. “Been thinking of me? You naughty boy.” She leered and leaned over. Then she had me in her mouth.
Her fantastic mouth. My God it felt so good, she was so talented with that, a gift from God. She performed symphonies with her tongue.
And that’s what she did to me then. Her head lifted and down she went, taking me in slowly, her lips were on fire, her tongue a swarming nest of pythons. It was a dream, an erotic dream and I surrendered to it, my heart thundering, knowing it was really happening and not wanting it to stop.
I leaned my head back and moaned. She slid off the sofa onto her knees, taking me ever higher as only she could.
This was all wrong, totally wrong. She had as if by magic appeared from nowhere, materialized like a ghost, and was now transporting me to ecstasyland with her magic mouth.
“Edie.” I shouted, reaching down and grabbing her chin, trying to extricate myself from her mouth.
That’s when she sank her teeth in.
Pain screamed through my body, searing my consciousness.
I looked down and blood was all over her lips, flooding over my lap onto the sofa.
Glenn Close stirring a pot in the movie Fatal Attraction flashed through my mind.
The bunny in the stew pot would be SO much better than this!
She smiled, my blood on her teeth.
“What’s the matter Jake, cat got your tongue?”
That’s when I saw the heavy cast iron skillet we’d received as a wedding present raise up and come crashing down on my head.
SIX
I came to in a brightly lit room, my eyes bleary as though I was looking up from the bottom of a swimming pool. Slowly my vision cleared and I saw I was in a hospital room. An IV tube snaked from the back of my hand.
Fresh flowers perched on a table. My head throbbed. I felt numb from the waist down.
I reached up and touched my head, a large bandage covered the top and left side. I looked down and saw a lump at the top of my legs under the thin blanket.
Then I remembered. A very bad dream, a hallucination. Vague, cottony fear clouded my mind.
Cassie, where’s Cassie?
A nurse holding a clipboard came in. “You’re awake! How are you feeling Mr. Harding?” She said. “Can you remember what happened?” She peered down at me. “I’ll call the doctor.”
A moment later a balding man in a long white jacket entered. He walked over and pointed a small flashlight into my eyes, moving it from side to side.
“Okaay. You’ve been out for a couple of days Mr. Harding, how much can you remember?”
“Edie, she…, my daughter!” I tried to sit up. The nurse rushed over and placed one hand on my chest and the other behind my neck, gently pushing me back down onto the bed.
“Calm down Mr. Harding. Your daughter is just fine.” He looked at his clipboard. “You’ve suffered major trauma to the head and uh… genitals.” He looked back up at me and smiled. “You’re a very lucky man Mr. Harding. After several hours of surgery we were able to save your penis.”
The doctor murmured something to the nurse, then turned back to me. “Just relax for a few hours, then we’ll run a few tests.”
The nurse stepped to the IV stand and injected something into the tube. “This will help you relax.” She smiled that stiff, professional smile. “Just rest now, I’ll be back to check on you.”
I drifted off to sleep.
I came to in the same room. After a few minutes a different nurse appeared. She was all business.
“How are we today Mr. Harding? I’ll just call the doctor.”
I was wheeled through pale green corridors into another room, this one full of bright lights and machines. After a moment the balding doctor entered accompanied by two nurses and a lab technician.
“Just relax Mr. Harding, we need to check your injuries and run a few tests.”
“I’d like to know where my daughter is doctor..,”
“Henderson.” He smiled over the top of his clipboard. “We’ll have that information for you soon.”
The doctor and nurses poked and prodded me, attached me to various gizmos, then filled my veins with blue liquid that caused my insides to feel cold and slid me into a large white tubular CAT scan machine that hummed and beeped. Finally the doctor nodded in satisfaction.
I was wheeled back to my room and the first nurse entered.
“A policeman is waiting to see you. I’ll show him right in.”
A burly cop entered. “Do you mind if I take a seat Mr. Harding?”
“Go right ahead.” I said. “Where’s my daughter Cassie?”
“Your daughter is with Child Services. She was placed in their care after your ex-wife Edith was arrested trying to cross the State line into Minnesota.”
Questions tumbled through my mind.
“What exactly happened officer?”
“Your neighbor, a Mrs. Zimmerman reported suspicious activity at your house. According to her she saw your ex-wife fleeing your house with your daughter in a…,” He consulted his notebook. “Flimsy nightgown.” He suppressed a grin. “An APB had already been issued for her. She then escaped in a stolen car and headed for the Stateline.”
“Where is Edie now officer?”
“In the Taycheedah Correctional Institute. You’re a very lucky man Mr. Harding.”
I braced myself. I was hearing that a lot lately about horrible news.
“Officers at the scene discovered your unconscious body cuffed to a doorknob in your bedroom. If Mrs. Zimmerman hadn’t called us you would have bled out.”
That evening, Edie had been reading 50 Shades of Grey. The handcuffs.
Thank God for Mrs. Zimmerman.
A day later my boss Jim came to visit me.
“How’ve you been Jake? You look like shit.”
“Gee thanks Jim good to see you too.”
“How are you holding up in here buddy?”
“Give me a few weeks I’ll be back on my feet.”
“Atta boy, we need you back at the office.” He said, sitting down. “Good thing you’re already lying down. I’ve got some news for you.”
“What kind of news Jim?”
“After all this happened I ran a background check on Edie. I put our best PI on it, this guy’s relentless, a real pitbull.”
“What did he find out?” I said.
“Glad you’re lying down buddy, this is quite a story.”
“I’m listening.”
“The State of New York had no record of an Edith Matherson so he dug deeper. Turns out she had changed her name, was born Edith Iverson. She officially got her name changed to Edith Matherson on June 27, 2011. That would have been a few months before she showed up in Oshkosh.”
“So why did she change her name Jim?” I said. “Just give me the whole story.”
“Let me tell you Jake, you are one lucky SOB.”
Not again. “You’re the third person to say that today Jim and it’s always about terrible news. How am I lucky?”
“You’re damn lucky she didn’t kill you.” He leaned back, raising his eyebrows as if to drive home a point.
“There’s no easy way to say this Jake, this lady has quite a past. A little over 5 years ago she killed her pimp. Cut him up real bad. He died in the hospital a day later.”
I covered my face with my hands, rubbed my fingers across my forehead. I was getting a bad headache despite the morphine.
“Ok, so she was a whore and a murderer. I’m done being surprised by Edie. Just tell me the rest Jim.”
“She claimed self defense, said her pimp was beating her up and pulled a knife. That was Consistent with the evidence, she had multiple contusions and his fingerprints were all over a stiletto found at the crime scene. And the arresting officers found heroin in her purse.”
“Why didn’t I see scars on her arms?” I asked.
“She was smart, her pimp probably taught her to shoot up between her toes so the John’s wouldn’t see track marks.” He said. “She got a good public defender. There was a hung jury so the murder charge was dismissed. She got a reduced sentence on charges of prostitution and possession of heroin. Since it was her first adult conviction she got a short sentence, did just six months in the pen.”
“First adult conviction?” I said. “She had a juvenile history?”
“Yep, she had a rough childhood. Real heartbreaking story. Her mother died in a drunk driving accident when Edie was ten. Her father was a real piece of work, did time in Attica for assault and armed robbery. He was a mean drunk, took to beating and whipping her…, and worse.”
“You mean he abused her? Like sexually?”
Jim nodded. “Yep, and this is where it really gets interesting. She got fed up with that and murdered her father when she was fifteen.”
“Oh shit.” Edie’s twisted face floated before me.
It’s full of sick fucks!
“That’s right Jake. One day he gets drunk, according to her testimony she knew what was coming and hid a knife. When he came for her he got a real surprise. Died with his pants down and enough alcohol in him to bring down a horse.”
A gift from my father.
The missing piece in the puzzle of Edie.
“She got a reduced sentence in a juvenile facility due to mitigating circumstances. When she turned eighteen her juvenile record was expunged, then her parole officer got her into a junior college and she took some journalism courses. Turns out she had a flair for writing. She landed a job with a women’s magazine doing back section Human Interest stories, then after a couple years got hired by a small newspaper, got to write some real news stories. She stayed there for a year. Then I guess she decided to start over in a new town where no one would know her. She changed her name and next thing you know she’s in Oshkosh Wisconsin.”
I’m more of a hard news kinda girl.
I looked at Jim, had no idea what to say. A storm of conflicting emotions raged through me.
“This is a lot for you to process Jake. I thought you’d want to know, might clear up some things for you.”
“Yeah, thanks Jim.” I said. “Thanks a lot.”
“No problem Jake. You take as much time as you need buddy. We’ll be waiting for you.”
A week later I was discharged. Hospital regulations required a nurse to take me to the exit in a wheelchair.
Ellen was waiting for me at the front counter. Her smile was gentle and reassuring, I had never felt so relieved to see someone.
“Hi Jake, how are you feeling?” She asked.
I’m ok Ellen.“ I lied. “How did you know I was here?”
“When Cassie hadn’t been to the nursery school for a few days I asked the staff about you.” She explained. “They told me Cassie was with Child Services. I inquired with Child Services and was told you were here.”
“I’m really happy to see you Ellen. Thanks for coming here.”
“I’m glad to see you too Jake.” She smiled. “Can I take you somewhere? Would you like to go home now?”
“Thank you very much Ellen. Actually I would like to go get my daughter.”
SEVEN
After I had been taken from my house unconscious in an ambulance Mrs. Zimmerman had called the hospital and been told that I was in a coma. She had then called a pet hotel and arranged for them to come pick up Nikki.
Thank God for the blue haired neighborhood busybody.
On Sunday morning I went out and bought a big box of Swiss chocolates. I came home, parked in the driveway and crossed the street to the Zimmerman’s house. Mrs. Zimmerman answered the door. I offered her the chocolates.
“Thank you very much for all everything you’ve done for me Mrs. Zimmerman. You saved my life by calling the police. And thanks for arranging for my dog to be cared for. I’m very fortunate to have you as a neighbor.”
She accepted the chocolates and looked like she would levitate with joy. “It’s my privilege to help my neighbors whenever possible Mr. Harding.” She beamed, then leaned forward. “And you know what? I’m not one to gossip but I could tell right away your wife looked like trouble.”
Ellen came to the house every morning, picked up Cassie and took her and Kenny to nursery school. She would bring Cassie back in the evenings and cook for us. Some days she came over and made me lunch. She even had her housekeeper come to clean my house twice a week.
Looking back I don’t know how I could have managed without her.
As time went by Ellen and I grew closer. Slowly but surely we became quite good friends. Our kids played together after school. We often had dinner together. Ellen was calm, sweet, even tempered and intelligent.
On many a Saturday Ellen would bring her son Kenny and come with Cassie, Nikki and me to Fox River. Cassie and Nikki loved her.
One day I drove up to Fond du Lac to visit Edie at the psychiatric wing of the Taycheedah Correctional Institute. She entered the small room in a loose industrial green gown and was seated on the other side of a wire reinforced Plexiglas partition. I was very happy to she was locked up. We talked over an old phone line like you see in pay phones.
“Hi Edie.”
“Jake, I never thought I’d see you again.” She said, tears streaming down her face. She covered her face and her body was wracked with convulsive sobs. I didn’t feel even a shred of sympathy for her.
“Why didn’t you tell me Edie?”
Her puffy face and tormented eyes appeared. Her hair was loose and lanky. I guess they didn’t have quality hair conditioner in there.
“They’re giving me pills…, I’m so sorry baby, so soo sorry…,” She went into a crying fit again, then pulled herself together and turned to face me.
“Tell you what Jake? That I was repeatedly whipped and abused by my father? That I finally had enough and killed him to keep him away from me? That I became a whore and a junkie?”
“You killed your pimp too Edie.” I said.
“I did what I had to do to protect myself Jake, they both tried to kill me. My own father tried to kill me, maybe it would’ve been better that way. Better than the other things he did to me.” She wiped away the mucous running from her nose. “You can’t even begin to imagine what that was like.”
She was right about that.
“I heard what happened Edie, heard about what your father did to you. I just wish you had told me.”
“So that what Jake? So that you could abandon me too? You know how many times I wanted to tell you but was terrified you’d find out? Yeah I’m really fucked up Jake, I’m a really fucked up person. I’m so afraid Jake.” She covered her face and sobbed again.
“Afraid of what Edie? I’m damn lucky you didn’t kill me too.”
“Never Jake, I never wanted to hurt you.” She sobbed. “Afraid of what’s in my head Jake.” She said, her voice muffled by her hands covering her face. “Those things never stop going round and round in there, round and round. They never go away, never stop.”
“Is the medication helping you?” I asked.
“They send shrinks to talk to me everyday Jake, they give me drugs to take. They say I’ll be ready to join group therapy soon.” She said. “Can you bring Cassie to see me Jake? Could you do that for me? It would do me so much good to see her Jake, it would mean the world to me. I have nothing to live for anymore. Did you bring a photo of her Jake?”
“No I didn’t.” I said. “I don’t know Edie, maybe someday I can bring her here. I really don’t know.”
I put down the phone and left.
EIGHT
About a year later I was made a junior partner at the law firm. I proposed to Ellen and she accepted.
We were happy together. Sometimes we would have a glass of wine or even two with dinner, on rare occasions even finish the whole bottle afterwards. That and the occasional beer or two was the extent of our drinking.
Every year on Edie’s birthday I would drive Cassie up to visit her. Edie would be waiting behind the small wire reinforced Plexiglas window in her red jumpsuit and all three of us would sit together in a small room. Edie would ask Cassie questions about her school, her friends etc… She frequently brushed tears from the corners of her eyes. Cassie would generally answer these questions with single words, then they would lapse into an awkward silence.
A guard would come in and announce when the allotted two hours had passed. Then Edie would hug Cassie until Cassie could hardly breathe.
When Edie finally released Cassie she would always say, “Promise me you’ll never forget how much Mommy loves you sweetheart.” Cassie always replied “I promise you Mommy I won’t forget.” Sometimes she would add “I love you too Mommy.” Then Edie would get a big smile, her forehead would crumple and tears would flow down her cheeks.
One year on the way home one year Cassie asked me, “Is Mommy a bad person?”
“No honey.” I answered. “Mommy just did some bad things.”
“What bad things did Mommy do?”
“Mommy’s not that well honey.”
“Is she sick?”
“Kind of.” I answered.
“Will staying at that place help her get better?”
“It’s the best place for Mommy to be honey.”
I smiled, knowing that it was true.
One Sunday afternoon I was back at Walmart shopping for a weedeater when I ran into Phil from my old poker group, the guy who drank Pabst Blue Ribbon.
“Hey Jake, how you been buddy? Long time no see!” He reached out and pumped my hand.
“Good Phil, I’ve been good. How about you?”
“Good, yeah fine. How about that redhead you married? What’s her name again?”
“We got divorced Phil, I haven’t seen her for awhile. Her name is Edie.”
“Sorry to hear that Jake, man she was one smokin’ hot babe!”
“That she was Phil, a little too hot for me.”
“Real firecracker huh?”
“You could say that.” I said.
“Hey, well good running into you Jake, you take ‘er easy buddy.”
“You too Phil, see you around.”
Ellen liked to read, in fact she was a voracious reader. When not otherwise occupied she most often had a book in her hands.
She refused to get an e-book reader, she said she preferred the honest smell of paper and the feel of a real book in her hands.
One evening I returned from the law office after a particularly long day. Both the kids were already asleep.
Ellen was reading 50 Shades of Grey.
I gulped. “You’re reading that?” I said. “How is it?”
She looked up at me and smiled, putting the book down. “Complete rubbish.” She said. “I don’t understand how anyone other than teenage girls could even read this crap.”
I leaned down and kissed her.
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